© Lisa Hodson & Write Edit Consulting

“…life doesn’t always stay in the lines or even on the page. Life can be blank then burst in a kaleidoscope of colors…”

Someone in my life has been treading water for the past three years in almost every area of life. She’s remarkably stayed afloat and remained as positive as possible, giving herself as much grace as she can. When asked, I offer my thoughts (sometimes I don’t have any), but I mostly just listen.

We met for brunch recently to catch up. I kept things light and fun on this occasion, sharing my recent escapade at a metal core concert and what I had coming up as well as what’s been going on with the business. I shared funny stories from tutoring, hoping to make her laugh because what she’s dealing with isn’t of her doing. Amidst the laughs, she got a little teary eyed, saying, “I’m really happy for you. You’re doing things. I just wonder when I’ll get to color in my coloring book again.”

I was grateful that she didn’t make me feel bad for enjoying myself a little because I’ve been through the wringer, too, and I can empathize with her. Also, I was in awe of her analogy. That’s how she sees it: being unable to color her world the way she wants.

When I pictured my coloring book in that moment, I saw only blank pages. Am I supposed to be coloring them? Should I be more thoughtful and purposeful? Do I have to? I decided that I don’t. As much as I love her way of looking at problems and life, and it works for her, I felt stressed imagining the limitations and pressure of having to color and stay in the lines. That’s not what she meant, but that’s how I felt.

Even while coloring, as she sees it, I still have problems and worries—will cancer come back a 5th time and thus present another fight for treatment with doctors or will it finally get me, what about that silver ceiling for older workers and the economy and impact of world events, how much longer will the cat live, what about my son and elderly parents, and the many other things that occupy space.

In my experience, life doesn’t always stay in the lines or even on the page. Life can be blank then burst in a kaleidoscope of colors. I muddle through the muck when I must and celebrate the colors when I can, and I don’t feel like I have to color my world, let alone color it just like someone else’s. That’s the beauty of it all.

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